"Bang-a Bong-a" (A Song by Gunther)

[Disclaimer: This song is in no way actually affiliated with the artist Gunther, but is merely my response to the intricate themes I've discovered by a close analysis of his art.]

About four times every year, I get into a phase where I just can't get enough of Swedish pop artist Gunther. Can you blame me? The guy is so awesome that floors have been broken at his concerts--I've seen the repaired damage. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, I am providing the video of his most famous (and perhaps most loved) song: The Ding Dong Song. Below that you'll find the links to two of his songs that use the exact same music.



Teeny Weeny String Bikini

Sunstrip

Good stuff, that. Now, I may never be able to write anything as deep and unifying as Gunther can, but that doesn't mean I can't try! And what better time to try than Valentine's Day: the day of love...and Hallmark (and massacres). So, without any further delay, I present to you: Bang-a Bong-a (A Song by Gunther [but written by me!])

It's the wrong holiday but...fuck it. He's got a puppy.

Bang-a Bong-a
(to the approximate tune of "Ding Dong Song")

Gunther [chorus]: I want to bang-a bong-a
I want to uh-uh-uh (Mmm)
I want to dance up on ya
Ooooh, I want sex

Sunshine Girls: La-la-la-la

G: It is night at the club
You are looking very hot
You are dancing, you are sweaty
And you wipe away a snot

I see you looking at me
And not the other dudes
You know where I am looking
...at your boobs.

SG [refrain]: Oh, oh, oh, oh, Gunther we love you
This is what you pay us to do
Sing and say how much we love you
Hey next week our checks will be due!

[Chorus]

G: That night in the room
You are sitting next to me
You are pressing the right buttons
To turn on ...the TV

When I say "the TV"
It's not a metaphor for sex
But as far as rhyming
Really, that's my best

SG: La-la-la-la

G: That night in the bed
We are getting all sex-y
But you fall asleep
Because you have narcolepsy

[Refrain]

[Chorus]

G: It is now 2AM
And I sit here a loner
Because you are asleep
But I have a huge boner (So huge!)

SG: Hey guess what: Gunther we hate you
We are not your little sex toys
Who would ever want to date you?
We all know that you just like boys.

[Chorus x2]

G: Uhhh