Sure, some amount of exaggeration is to be expected from commercials. This website is a perfect example: if fast food chains took pictures of the actual food they served, we might not have a nationwide obesity problem. But I don't hold this against the fast food chains--the food is made of the same stuff (i.e. not food), the only difference is the appearance. And, I don't know about you, but I don't order McSkillet Burritos for the way they look. (Okay, I don't order them at all--but you get the point.)
The breaking point for me is when companies state that their product can do something, which, in truth, is less likely than Nicolas Cage being a successful action hero. The worst offender has to be Axe deodorant--really, any of the body sprays, but I think Axe is the worst. Don't believe me? Check out this commercial, which basically says Axe=sex. Actually, pretty much any Axe commercial is like that.
The most egregious part of the whole thing is that I have never seen an Axe-soaked guy get closer than teen feet from a girl before she starts complaining about a headache. That's the opposite of sex. So, not only does the product fail to live up to expectations, it also has undescribed negative consequences.
And let's take a second to acknowledge certain television stations. When I was little, I used to blow entire summers watching Cartoon Network. Why? Because I knew that no matter what came on, it would be a cartoon. That's why it's the fucking Cartoon Network! Is this true now? Apparently not. I did some reasearch, and within a 24-hour period, the CN (as they apparently prefer to be called, now) has 5 hours of programming that is--wait for it--not cartoons!
That's over 20%! But, that does still leave 19 hours of cartoons a day, which is respectable. What is not respectable is the non-cartoon shows that are airing. Here's a verbatim description of one of them: "Teams of athletes and drama club members build dump trucks to haul large piles of dirt across a field." Not only does that sound worse than cartoons, it sounds worse than just about anything else on TV. Why the hell would I want to watch kids--or anyone!--haul dirt across a field? No, instead I'll spend the 30 minutes writing an angry letter to the network, asking why they ruined one of the greatest pieces of my childhood.
Bullshit, Cartoon Network--this is not Tom and Jerry!Cartoon Network has nothing on this next sation, though: MTV. Music Television. You might take that name to mean music playing on a television. If you do, you probably also have a box full of tiddy bears. (Shame on you.) Not that MTV was ever respectable, but check out this fact: in the same 24-hour period, MTV has 17 hours of programming that are in absolutely no way related to music. And, 6 of the 7 hours of programming (sort of) related to music aired from 3-9 AM. Not peak viewing hours. Even then, all 7 hours was the same show, which was half news, half music.
The Weather Channel: For all your cooking needs.Come on, people. This is pathetic. We've crossed the line dividing slight exaggeration from blatant lie. How? Why? Here's my hypothesis: We've lost all integrity. We actually used to have a decent amount of it, but then found out we could get a bargain of eight Shamwows if we sold it. Now, if the Devil goes down to Georgia, he doesn't have to steal a soul--he can just find them at Wal-Mart. (And at rollback pricing!)
