Periodically, Poposophical will feature Top 5 lists. A brief disclaimer before the first: These lists will be a compilation of my own, personal, nobody-else-implied, favorite things from a given category. They in no way represent—or even attempt to do so—an obvjective “Best of” for anything. Why? Because there is no such thing. There is no way to come up with a definitive list (no matter how large or small) of the best movies, albums, TV shows, etc. People will assign their own values to those categories, so what one guy thinks is good will undoubtedly be seen as base and repulsive by his mother-in-law. (This has been scientifically proven.) And because of that no one can truthfully say that “These three Jesus-in-toast images are the best there are,” or any similar such statement. If you disagree, I welcome you to go elsewhere and have a bunch of pretentious “experts” explain what you should think is good. That said, let’s move on.
George Carlin is the subject for the very first Top 5 here because I feel he greatly represents much of what this blog stands for. Aside from being equitably offensive and absolutely hilarious, George Carlin was a great thinker who took everyday occurrences and asked, “Why the hell are things like this?” These videos will, I hope, do justice to his brilliant mind. Here’s my Top 5 George Carlin Stand-up Routines:
#5 – Little Things We Share (1992)
The brilliance: All of us have experienced every single one of these things. It’s Carlin’s presentation that really sells it, but you can tell that the audience knows exactly what he’s talking about—they laugh at the set-ups! We all laugh because we’ve had these same experiences, but never talk about them. Until now.
Best part: The mystery of the moving pillow. I, personally, have been investigating this mystery since about the age of four. What makes this one so good is that everyone thinks it’s too stupid to talk about—we realize why it happens by the time we’re ten—but we’re still fascinated by it. “Holy shit, Dave!”
# 4 – Airline Announcements (1992)
The brilliance: This segment, from the same special, focuses a lot on language—particularly, how people abuse it. This is all ridiculous, and Carlin shows us exactly why by replacing the excessive phrases (“In the unlikely event of a drop in cabin pressure…”) with the blunt truth (“Roof flies off!”).
Best part: The seat belt section of the safety lecture, for obvious reasons. The patent for seat belts was given in 1885. I think a hundred and twenty-plus years is a long enough time for us to have figured them out.
#3 – Stuff (1986)
The brilliance: In five minutes, George Carlin produces the funniest social commentary ever. He’s talking about consumerism—defining ourselves by what we have—but he’s calling it “stuff”. Simple. Direct. And, honestly, “stuff” is just a funny word. Especially when it’s repeated.
Best part: Shit versus stuff. No one has ever said, “Let me move my shit.” Why? Because it’s always your shit, not mine!
#2 – A Modern Man (2005)
The brilliance: I challenge you to memorize this routine. Now perform it without slipping up. Done that? Okay, now do it at the age of 68, which is how old Carlin was when this special was aired on HBO. And the most impressive part might not be his performance, but the ability to collect all these terms and organize them so beautifully.
Best part: The whole thing. Seriously.
#1 – Seven Words (1978)
The brilliance: Okay, you knew this was coming. This routine’s been talked about so much, there really isn’t much left to say about it. It’s insightful. It’s playful. It’s classic, funny, dirty, and still mostly true. Although I am amused by thinking about a time when farts weren’t even referred to on television.
Best part: The twisted meaning of “cocksucker”. How did they do that?
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