Failure! (And Funny Lines)

According to Latino Review, Poposophical's first casting campaign was unsuccessful. Warner Bros. has cast Dumbledore's son as Professor Moriarty. Considering [minor spoiler alert--if you haven't seen the latest episode of Mad Men, consider skipping ahead] he got slapped around by his elderly father in Mad Men, I'm having trouble seeing the sinister in him; however, anyone from that show has my good graces (which are coveted among the collectors of graces from unknown pop-culture blogs). Mad Men has a great cast--one of the main reasons the show's won three consecutive Emmys.

Speaking of award-winning, The Social Network opened this weekend. It's being hailed as the top Oscar-contender. Poposophical would be extremely grateful to anyone who could explain this. I understand the whole David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin thing. But it's a movie about facebook. With Justin Timberlake. And the kid from Zombieland. Which brings me to what I really want to talk about: the Spider-Man reboot.

Wait, you ask. How exactly did we go from facebook and zombies to Spider-Man?

Well, we went from facebook to Jesse Eisenberg, to Zombieland, to Emma Stone--who is being offered the role of Mary Jane Watson in the new Spider-Man movie. But! We could have just as easily gone from facebook to Andrew Garfield, the new Peter Parker, to Emma Stone. There were options. In any case, we're at Emma Stone and Spider-Man, and these are the things I want to talk about.

Despite my concerns about the reboot, I like the decision to offer Emma Stone the role of Mary Jane. She was awesome in Zombieland. And everything I've heard says she was awesome in Easy A. Also, she's not Kirsten Dunst, which helps. (Sorry Kirsten. You peaked with Bring it On.) However, the studio is indicating that Gwen Stacy will be the main love interest for at least the first film; so whether Stone wants to lock herself into a probable three-film contract as a secondary love interest is another question.


I do support the decision to foreground Gwen Stacy, though--it'll help distinguish the new franchise, and provide a ton of dramatic potential, given Gwen's fate in the original comics continuity. Dianna Agron is the current front-runner for the role, according to various IMDb links.

Still, there are some big questions to be answered about the new film. Namely, if this is to be a gritty reboot as suggested by early reports, can the filmmakers balance that with the unique Spider-Man tone? (Can they? Yes. The real question is will they?) I recommend looking to Ultimate Spider-Man for inspiration, especially for Parker's non-heroic encounters. Need proof?

Great Line #1:
Parker: Hey! Listen--this isn't what it looks like--unless it looks like that costumed freak Spider-Man punching your firend in the face so he can break into your boss's security system. Because if that's what it looks like...that's actually right.

Great Line #2:
Aunt May: I don't want any hanky-panky up there. I mean it!


Great Line #3
Parker: I'm from a planet many galaxies far, far, far away from here where people and spiders mate and live in harmony.

Greatest Line:
Jameson: This story has more holes in it than a Michael Bay movie!

But the biggest obstacle facing this reboot is undoubtedly the insurmountable task of replacing J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson [see above]. It can't be done! Cannot! And let's all be honest, he was the best part of the first three movies.

I welcome any challenging opinions (have a better choice for MJ?) or new ideas (is there someone not-from-Glee who can play Gwen?). And look for my next post, where I respond to a reader's short-essay-length comment on my superheroes post.